It's not like I've wasted that month. I've been researching diet plans really carefully, because I just can't fail this time! I wanted a diet that didn't involve calorie counting (because frankly my maths isn't brilliant and it's waaaaay too easy to cheat), loses the weight quickly but safely (I don't care if it's not the happiest 12 weeks of my life, I just need to lose 3 stone), that had guaranteed results, and preferably didn't involve me strutting around in a leotard doing butt thrusts. Basically I wanted a diet that was quick, effective, safe, simple to follow and impossible to cheat.
So I spent ages researching, and came across the idea of a VLCD (Very Low Calorie Diet). It's a diet that delivers less than 800 calories per day, which is apparently the exact amount that we need and no more. They're "formulated, nutritionally complete, liquid meals containing 3350 kJ (800 kcal) or less per day. VLCDs also contain the recommended daily requirements for vitamins, minerals, trace elements, fatty acids and protein. The VLCD products are usually a powder which is mixed with water or another low calorie liquid" according to the all knowing Wikipedia.
So I looked in to a few VLCD companies, and I've gone for HOWARD'S WAY!
QUICK: tick. Apparently the average is over 3 stones in 12 weeks.
EFFECTIVE: tick. 3 STONE IN 12 WEEKS! Do you have any idea how long that normally takes!
SAFE: tick. Hence the Doctor's approval being necessary, plus constant medical checkups (and I think they monitor your pee, which is kinda gross but I can deal with it.)
SIMPLE: tick. all food provided- what could be easier!
IMPOSSIBLE TO CHEAT: tick. Can't cheat if it's all provided. No 'forgetting' that I ate a chocolate bar when adding up my daily intake! Also, there's something called "Ketosis" which is something that your body goes into after a few days on these milkshakes which supposedly stops your cravings. And if you do have something naughty after that they can tell because it's in your pee!)
I had a friend who recommended them (Howards Way) after losing 5 stone(!) with them last year. The reason I think it worked so well with her is because they taught her about what different foods do to the body while she was on the program, so she learnt what not to eat. To be honest, and I know this sounds dumb, but I'm not really sure what's bad and what isn't. I mean, I know that chocolate is bad and apples are good, but why is white bread not as good as brown bread? Sarah (said friend) is always looking at me accusingly when I'm about to munch down on a sandwich, which you would've thought was a pretty healthy snack really, and goes on about broken down starch or something...possibly if I listened more I wouldn't have a BMI of 40 and wouldn't wobble when I walk.
Anyway, my point is that last time I did a diet (Weightwatchers) I lost about 3 stone in just under a year, with huge amounts of hard effort, self denial, weekly humiliation and time at the gym hiding until all the fit people had left, only to put it all on again within 8 months (and then some). This time I want to learn about food and to get in to better habits.
So. I started this post by saying that I was excited, and then proceeded to waffle my way through the subsequent paragraphs without really saying what I was excited about... I got in to the program! They've accepted my application, I've filled in all the paperwork, done my medical examination, my Doctor was really happy with me, and by this time next week I shall be considerably lighter and spending my evenings peeing in a bottle!
(Let me hear you say woop woop!)
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