Normally when I start a diet, I don't tell anyone.
It's not that I'm afraid of their reaction if I fail or anything logical like that, it's just that I find that people fall in to about 4 basic categories:
- Supportive. I can deal with these people, they're nice and leave me to get on with it while occasionally remarking how thin I'm looking
- Bemused. After the unbelievable frustrating chorus of "oh but you're fine the way you are!" (which traditionally leaves me unmotivated and with an overwhelming desire to scream "apart from the fact that I'm about 4lbs away from being Jabba the Hut!")
- Critical. Thought I was over-reacting to the bemused people? Try telling me that I'm dieting all wrong and should try cutting out all carbs and jogging 6 miles every morning if you want to see me turn slowly purple in an effort not to choke on my own bitter retorts.
- Destructive. These are the worst. They pretend to be your friend, and start of all supportive, whilst secretly plotting to undermine your willpower by 'rewarding' you for losing a pound with a large slab of chocolate cake that they cooked especially for you and will be soooo hurt if you don't just take a bite. There is no circle in hell deep enough for these people. Except the one populated by double-glazing sales people.
So that is a basic summary of why I don't tell people when I go on a diet, but unfortunately that means that there's not as much pressure to stay on the straight and narrow. This diet, I decided to tell everyone about. Mostly because it's quite hard to hide the fact that I'm only drinking milkshakes for 12 weeks, but more importantly, it's because I'm actually really proud of myself for deciding to do this diet.
This is not a fad diet, this is me changing my life around. I've done all the research to answer the critical people, I have more than enough bitter retorts in my armoury for the bemused people, and frankly I am quite prepared to bitch-slap the destructive people. So bring it on.
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6 comments:
Ha! You have a good way with words Emma, ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM!
Good for you. I know what is like when you feel you are on your own and no one is supporting you the way you want. You just have to blank them out and get on with it. But there are always a few people that get to you and drag you down (well, thats what happened to me, anyway). Keep at it!
Ha! I always learnt that phrase as "Nolite te bastardes carborundorum," but I love your version. Could never imagine Romans running around calling one another 'bastardes' anyway, and 'illegitimi' is a much better insult!
I'm on a VLCD and you know what someone said to me today? First, they brought in a birthday cake and offered me some. No thank you through gritted teeth. Then, they said "you can't survive on just drinks you know!"
SERIOUSLY! Do these people think I'm just having a Yazoo every morning?
Great blog btw
whoever it was definitely deserves a bitchslap!
Do you know, I think the new level of confidence that's been brought about by this diet might have opened up a new and mildly aggressive side of me! Must watch that!
I wish I could say she got one!
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