GUESS WHAT!!! I can't talk for long because I've got an entire night of TV scheduled (sad but true) but I wanted everyone here to know that he asked me out again!!! He rang me up this time, I have no idea where he got my phone number from, but after a slightly embarrassing conversation where I couldn't actually figure out who he was, he asked me to the cinema!
AND I SAID YES!!!
I think I probably always knew I'd say yes - all that umming and aahring was probably just a defence mechanism in case he didn't ask again, but as soon as he asked (once I'd figured out who it was) I said yes straight away! We're going to the cinema I think, next week once all the crazy New Year stuff is over. Just think how much weight I can lose by then!!!
Which means I'll be starting 2009 with an actual man who is actually interested in dating me! And I can't possibly mess it up before Jan 1st because I'm not even going to see him before then!
I'm noticing I use an awful lot of exclamation marks when I'm writing in this blog. My English teacher always said that they were a lazy way of showing excitement, and that I should let the emotion come through in the language instead. So Sir, if you're listening, I'm really seriously excited. Really.
AND there's a whole night of Sex and the City ahead of me!!
If this doesn't call for a giant party popper I don't know what does!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Showing posts with label difficult dieting at christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label difficult dieting at christmas. Show all posts
Monday, 29 December 2008
Tuesday, 16 December 2008
CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!
I'm so excited about Christmas I can hardly sit down!
I thought a while ago that I wouldn't be able to get excited with the prospect of sitting at the table, sucking on my milkshake, while everyone else stuffs themselves stupid with turkey and brussel sprouts before retiring to the sitting room to fill any remaining belly space with the nasty toffee Quality Streets that have been left.
It's going to be a weird Christmas anyway because it's the first year my big brother Aaron's not going to be there, so I'll miss him nearly as much as I'll miss the food. It's not even the food really, it's just the activity of the food and the togetherness it brings - I'll still do lots of cooking and decorating and stuff, but Christmas is about family and the dinner is one of the few times when everyone is together and there's no arguments or rushing off to talk on mobiles or anything. Everyone else'll be tucking in to something we all cooked while I'll be savouring my oh so nutritous milkshake and I wont feel like a part of the same event/family.
Still, I like to keep traditions going, so I've made the Christmas Log and the Christmas Cake and mince pies and everything. I've mastered my impulses to snack whilst cooking, which was starting to make me look like I had a twitch or a hand that obeyed some unseen shoulder devil. I've found that I quite like cooking just for the fun of it, and I don't particularly want to eat the food I'm handling - its just nice to see other people enjoying it.
God I've changed actually! I've just noticed it as I typed that, but a month ago watching other people enjoying food was like watching them urinating on my grave, and now I'm actually providing them with food! I wonder what brought that on! Guess it must be the fact I'm turning 25 next week!
(see how I got that in all subtley? God I'm cunning!)
I have been told I'll be allowed something a bit different on Christmas day. There's a list of things I'll be allowed and things I wont be, so hopefully it'll include a few tasty bits. I don't know if that's a good thing or not to be honest, I certainly don't want the cravings to come back again but then I want to feel like a part of my family at Christmas. I want to be normal!
I thought a while ago that I wouldn't be able to get excited with the prospect of sitting at the table, sucking on my milkshake, while everyone else stuffs themselves stupid with turkey and brussel sprouts before retiring to the sitting room to fill any remaining belly space with the nasty toffee Quality Streets that have been left.
It's going to be a weird Christmas anyway because it's the first year my big brother Aaron's not going to be there, so I'll miss him nearly as much as I'll miss the food. It's not even the food really, it's just the activity of the food and the togetherness it brings - I'll still do lots of cooking and decorating and stuff, but Christmas is about family and the dinner is one of the few times when everyone is together and there's no arguments or rushing off to talk on mobiles or anything. Everyone else'll be tucking in to something we all cooked while I'll be savouring my oh so nutritous milkshake and I wont feel like a part of the same event/family.
Still, I like to keep traditions going, so I've made the Christmas Log and the Christmas Cake and mince pies and everything. I've mastered my impulses to snack whilst cooking, which was starting to make me look like I had a twitch or a hand that obeyed some unseen shoulder devil. I've found that I quite like cooking just for the fun of it, and I don't particularly want to eat the food I'm handling - its just nice to see other people enjoying it.
God I've changed actually! I've just noticed it as I typed that, but a month ago watching other people enjoying food was like watching them urinating on my grave, and now I'm actually providing them with food! I wonder what brought that on! Guess it must be the fact I'm turning 25 next week!
(see how I got that in all subtley? God I'm cunning!)
I have been told I'll be allowed something a bit different on Christmas day. There's a list of things I'll be allowed and things I wont be, so hopefully it'll include a few tasty bits. I don't know if that's a good thing or not to be honest, I certainly don't want the cravings to come back again but then I want to feel like a part of my family at Christmas. I want to be normal!
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Bad press.
Weight: 13st 12!!!!!
Went to see my Doctor today. I have to do checkups quite frequently on this diet so they can make sure I'm getting enough of everything that I need, and that I'm healthy and happy. For some reason, he refused to sign my form which states that he's happy for me to continue with the diet. He said he didn't have time to spend with someone who was just losing weight, rather than someone who had a 'genuine health concern.' This is the same man whose immortal words "one cheeseburger away from a heart attack" started this whole damned thing!!!
I'm thinner than I've been in about 5 years, I've got bundles of energy, feel just dandy and was, until he said it, happier than I've been in longer than I can remember. So why wouldn't he just sign it?!?!
I don't know what the big issue is with VLCDs anyway. People who haven't seen me for a while say "you're looking great!," but the second I start telling them how quickly I've lost it, or how easy it's been, they suck in their cheeks, look concerned and tell me "it's not healthy to lose it that quick you know."
NEWSFLASH: It's not that healthy being 220lbs at 1.50m either!
It's like just because I've found it easier than chomping down on lettuce leaves for 3 years whilst saluting the sun and going on brisk walks every weekend, doesn't mean that I'm about to collapse of malnutrition! And now it appears that my Doctor is suffering from the same misconceptions, and wants me back to do further tests.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for checking that I'm healthy. That's why I chose the Howard's Way diet over any of the other VLCDs, because they put such emphasis on health, but if I don't get the form signed and handed back to them, they'll ween me off the food until my Doctor signs it, and the last thing I want right now (and I never thought I'd hear myself say this) is normal food! I almost wish Howard's Way and the Doctor cared just that little bit less, and would just let me decide what's good for me based on how I feel.
I know that there was a lot of bad press surrounding Very Low Calorie Diets back in the day before they were properly regulated, and I know that people are scared because of all of the laughable adverts you see for 'miracle diet pills,' (or, as I like to call them, 'idiot tax') but I just wish people would respect me enough to realise that I have researched this, I do understand what's happening in my body, and I can make up my own mind. Just because I'm fat does not mean I'm a dumbass.
Anyway. Rant over. I've given the Doc all of the Howard's Way information, which I've shown to other Doctors before and they've approved, so fingers crossed I wont be back on normal food any time soon, because I'm actually kind of starting to like the shakes. The butterscotch one is not so good, but the rest are bordering on yum.
Went to see my Doctor today. I have to do checkups quite frequently on this diet so they can make sure I'm getting enough of everything that I need, and that I'm healthy and happy. For some reason, he refused to sign my form which states that he's happy for me to continue with the diet. He said he didn't have time to spend with someone who was just losing weight, rather than someone who had a 'genuine health concern.' This is the same man whose immortal words "one cheeseburger away from a heart attack" started this whole damned thing!!!
I'm thinner than I've been in about 5 years, I've got bundles of energy, feel just dandy and was, until he said it, happier than I've been in longer than I can remember. So why wouldn't he just sign it?!?!
I don't know what the big issue is with VLCDs anyway. People who haven't seen me for a while say "you're looking great!," but the second I start telling them how quickly I've lost it, or how easy it's been, they suck in their cheeks, look concerned and tell me "it's not healthy to lose it that quick you know."
NEWSFLASH: It's not that healthy being 220lbs at 1.50m either!
It's like just because I've found it easier than chomping down on lettuce leaves for 3 years whilst saluting the sun and going on brisk walks every weekend, doesn't mean that I'm about to collapse of malnutrition! And now it appears that my Doctor is suffering from the same misconceptions, and wants me back to do further tests.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for checking that I'm healthy. That's why I chose the Howard's Way diet over any of the other VLCDs, because they put such emphasis on health, but if I don't get the form signed and handed back to them, they'll ween me off the food until my Doctor signs it, and the last thing I want right now (and I never thought I'd hear myself say this) is normal food! I almost wish Howard's Way and the Doctor cared just that little bit less, and would just let me decide what's good for me based on how I feel.
I know that there was a lot of bad press surrounding Very Low Calorie Diets back in the day before they were properly regulated, and I know that people are scared because of all of the laughable adverts you see for 'miracle diet pills,' (or, as I like to call them, 'idiot tax') but I just wish people would respect me enough to realise that I have researched this, I do understand what's happening in my body, and I can make up my own mind. Just because I'm fat does not mean I'm a dumbass.
Anyway. Rant over. I've given the Doc all of the Howard's Way information, which I've shown to other Doctors before and they've approved, so fingers crossed I wont be back on normal food any time soon, because I'm actually kind of starting to like the shakes. The butterscotch one is not so good, but the rest are bordering on yum.
Thursday, 20 November 2008
A christmas conundrum
I wonder how many bloggers start off by thinking that they'll post every day. And I wonder how long each of them lasts at that.
I think there are good things and bad things about blogging. I love writing it, and I love getting the comments and supports from my fellow bloggers, but the one bad thing is that it does dramatically increase the amount of the day that I spend thinking about the diet and the food that I'm not eating.
Things have settled down in to a pretty good routine at the moment. I've got making and shaking the Total Food Replacements down to a fine art, and I do love not having to spend time thinking about what I'm going to eat when I get home from work. People at work have calmed down now that they've realised that I'm not going to explode/become thinner than them in a matter of weeks. My health is good, my energy levels are great, and the side effects I was experiencing (constipation, dry lips, coldness) have all but vanished.
Yet I can't shake a slight feeling of 'mergh' that I can't seem to describe with an other word.
I think it might be Christmas. I love Christmas, love the build up, love the day itself, love just thinking about it for months and months before hand.... and I honestly never thought before that any part of that love revolved around food, yet I find myself thinking longingly of all the foods that I wont be eating, all the selection boxes that will go unwrapped, and all the puddings that will not melt tantalizingly on my tastebuds.
What does that mean? That I'm so shallow and obsessed with food that the only enjoyment I get from the hi-light of the Christian calendar is cake??? That my love affair with Christmas is really an opportunity to gorge myself without anyone judging me?
Friends and family that I've explained this to, came up with the wonderful advice of simply 'saving' all of the good food until my diet ends 3 weeks after Christmas. Good to know that the art of completely missing the point is not dead! If I save myself a little hoard of cakes and chocolates and puddings ready to tuck into the second the 12 weeks is up, just how long will my new found figure and resolution last? But if I don't, do I really have the strength to miss out on the time of year that I spend at least 11 months looking forward to?
It's a conundrum alright, any tips from more experienced dieters?
I think there are good things and bad things about blogging. I love writing it, and I love getting the comments and supports from my fellow bloggers, but the one bad thing is that it does dramatically increase the amount of the day that I spend thinking about the diet and the food that I'm not eating.
Things have settled down in to a pretty good routine at the moment. I've got making and shaking the Total Food Replacements down to a fine art, and I do love not having to spend time thinking about what I'm going to eat when I get home from work. People at work have calmed down now that they've realised that I'm not going to explode/become thinner than them in a matter of weeks. My health is good, my energy levels are great, and the side effects I was experiencing (constipation, dry lips, coldness) have all but vanished.
Yet I can't shake a slight feeling of 'mergh' that I can't seem to describe with an other word.
I think it might be Christmas. I love Christmas, love the build up, love the day itself, love just thinking about it for months and months before hand.... and I honestly never thought before that any part of that love revolved around food, yet I find myself thinking longingly of all the foods that I wont be eating, all the selection boxes that will go unwrapped, and all the puddings that will not melt tantalizingly on my tastebuds.
What does that mean? That I'm so shallow and obsessed with food that the only enjoyment I get from the hi-light of the Christian calendar is cake??? That my love affair with Christmas is really an opportunity to gorge myself without anyone judging me?
Friends and family that I've explained this to, came up with the wonderful advice of simply 'saving' all of the good food until my diet ends 3 weeks after Christmas. Good to know that the art of completely missing the point is not dead! If I save myself a little hoard of cakes and chocolates and puddings ready to tuck into the second the 12 weeks is up, just how long will my new found figure and resolution last? But if I don't, do I really have the strength to miss out on the time of year that I spend at least 11 months looking forward to?
It's a conundrum alright, any tips from more experienced dieters?
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